By Greg Szymanski

It’s enough to make you sick. It’s more that enough to make an old man cry.

But if that be the case why, oh why, am I as healthy as a young bull and laughing my head off. The reason is when I was a boy living on my Dad’s dairy farm, I fell from a hayloft into a manure spreader and have had a great immune system ever since, a country doctor once told me. However, some say, since I started criticizing the Vatican that I’m just full of shit!

I digress, though.

The real bigger than big reason I can’t stop laughing is tt’s election day in the most insane city and state in our country. I am not even going to mention the name, You probably know already anyway.

Hint: I like Jack Nicholson and how he lives there, I don’t know. I don’t like Robert DeNiro and glad he lives there far away from me.

The above is just one reason why I am especially laughing my head off tonight. And there is so much more, my God, so much more. One man should not be allowed to have so much fun in this Matrix we live in.

In fact, let me make my top 10 list before I laugh so hard I will blow a fuse:

1. The Donald or the King of DC. Now this is a big one. Trump, a reality show TV host, makes for good comedy and a belly laugh every time I listen. He is even better than Ronald Regan who was only a B actor and never made it big in Hollywood. However, I always wanted to thank him since, when I heard he was on the ballot, I immediately booked a flight and spent six years in Italy drinking wine and eating pasta.
2. Voting, now that’s a big joke. People actually vote, thinking it counts. It doesn’t. Like Stalin said. “It is those who count the votes that count, not the people who vote!” I read that quote at a young age and, although I am Polish not Russian, I took his advice and never, never once stepped foot in a voting booth.
3. Do you believe, how can this be! California and some other states really allow biological boys in a girl’s locker room and let them play in girls sports. What a joke. When I say that, can’t help laughing shaking my head. All I can say, while still laughing, if that happened in my high school, I’d be the first to kick their phony transgender asses from here to kingdom come.
4. How about sunny skies.When I look up into our beautiful brown skies and see jets criss=crossing at 37,000 feet, leaving chem trails bigger and stinkier than an elephant’s fart, I break out laughing when people and all the weather guys on TV claim they are con trails from United We Fall Airlines. People, there is no sun any more! They have been spraying this shit since the 1990’s. What a joke!
5. And so while we are on the subject of the sun or the supposed curvature of the earth. Did I say curvature. Well, who the hell cares anymore. I am not giving you any scientific lectures just plain facts. So, I took a stick and placed it exactly 10 miles away in a remote location and stuck it in the ground. I paid a kid 20 bucks to hold the stick with a red basketball on the top. I gave him safety glasses and you will see why. I motored my boat 10 nautical miles out in the Pacific and took a laser and it crossed the ocean and hit the basketball straight on. Now if the brains at NASA be right, the laser should have hit the earth and not the basketball because of the curvature. I told people later NASA was lying and this is one good reason to question whether is round like they say. When I told the story to a weatherman and some scientists, their answer made me laugh my head off. They said it merely was a mirage!
6. Last one and there are a few others who know the truth about this. By the way, who are these people that still think Alex Jones is Alex Jones and that whoever he may be is a true patriot. He’s not. Let me just say this with a very wide grin, why was there another Alex Jones in the 1990s before him. The logical reason is the CIA got rid of the old one because he was boring and looked for a comedian with a presence to take his place. Now, folks, who was that Comedian. The answer makes be bust a gut!

Well, I was going to go for 10 but I could probably get to a hundred if I tried. And, anyhow, I recently have been brushing up on my guitar playing and singing, my main two instruments, the third being the harmonica. Believe it or not with all this technology, I have created my own one man band. Three weeks from now I have my first gig in months.

With that in mind, I wanted to thank all the people who have kept me laughing even through many months crying my eyes out with herniated discs in my lower back. Special thanks to all of those deep thinkers who still believe buildings like the Kremlin in Moscow and many others, around the plane we call Earth, were actually built before the invention of power tools.

Like I say on my website We have been lied to about everything!

Thank God. I almost forgot the main man. I want to thank Him before Playing Stairway to Heaven. I want to especially thank Him for creating all this nonsense that keeps me laughing every single day.. Like the song says. “When you’re laughin’, when your laughin’, the whole world laughs with you…”