I first met Slats Grobnik in a bar in Chicago over a few cold ones. He told me he was sick and tired of all the good jobs going to the friends and family of Mayor Daly. I told him please don’t, since that’s how I got most of my jobs from  Uncle Frank who was a  State Rep, and also double-dipped, working in the Chicago Board of Tax Appeals.

I last heard from Slats when he was busy building a replica Roman Coliseum in a Kansas cornfield, intent upon constructing it without taxpayer money, His idea was to hoard up in a big cage as many of the Rulers of Evil in the Vatican, Jesuit Order and DC as he could get his hands on  to start off with. He then wanted to get a group of real tough fighting US Patriots to put those bad guys in chains once and for all so they could fight as gladiators in front of the thousands upon thousands of people who he expected would come to watch and cheer-on, giving those bad guys thumbs up or thumbs down.

Slats turned out to be the real deal. The true freedom fighter who put his money where his mouth was. I knew Slats for more than 30 years and wrote story after story about his quest to bring the Jesuit Order to an end. I last talked with him about 6 years ago when he was half finished with construction on you know what.

In the meantime, before I check up on him to see if he is still kickin’, here is a story I wrote about him some years back when he met Jesuit Fr, Lombardi.

By Greg Szymanski, JD

“You know so very little, my son. If you knew what I know, you’d be
right along side me wearing black robes and a cross,” said the Jesuit
priest, Fr. Lombardi, who wiped away the crooked smile on his face with
a swig of beer.

“What do you know that I don’t, Father?” said freedom fighter Slats
Grobnik.

“Call me Ernie, Slats.”

“Ok, Ernie tell me what you know and, by the way, I’m watching my drink
so don’t try to slip me anything funny.”

“Why, my son, I’m here to give you blessings not drugs.”

“That’s what all you guys say, but I know the truth about the poison cup
and the scarlet knife or whatever you call it.”

“Tell me what you know about the truth, my son”

“No, you tell me, Ernie. I asked first,” said Slats who was confronted
by the Jesuit while having a drink in a local Kansas bar. “How’d you find
me and why? Usually you guys go undercover, what’s up?”

“The Father General sent me.”

“Kolvenbach?”

“No, Nicolas. Fr. Gen. Adolpho Nicolas, the new Jesuit General. He has
been watching and listening to you.”

“I figured as much,” said Slats, nodding his head in agreement.

“The dear and loving Fr. General is concerned about you. He believes you
are misinformed and that is why, in his humble opinion, he believes you
are spreading lies and falsehoods about the Order.

“What’s the Black Pope so upset about?”

“Well, for starters, he thinks too many Americans are starting to
believe what you are saying. This he told me point blank in a letter and
he said this must be stopped as it is not good for the Order.

While Ernie continued to rattle off more complaints,Slats kept a steady
eye on his beer, knowing the Jesuit deep down inside was up to no good.

“He’s especially upset about the bugging devices you’ve placed in Black
Room in the White House and at Jesuit Headquarters in Rome at Borgo
Santo Spirito 5,” continued the Jesuit.

“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander,” said Slats”

“What’s a gander, anyway? responded the Jesuit.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s a cross-dressing chicken. You guy’s should
know all about that seedy stuff, the homo-pederasts that you are!”

“Now, Slats, there you go. That’s exactly what the Fr. General is
talking about. Also, he’s very, very upset about about the stories you
have been passing around that the Pope has a 24-year-old gay lover.”

“Ok, so what? What else?”

“What else, let me tell you nicely what else,” said the Jesuit. “He’s
upset about your writings and recollections of history, putting the
Order in an evil light and he’s even more angry over your project and
you’re building a replica of the Roman Coliseum in that Kansas
cornfield. Didn’t you say, you wanted the Jesuit hierarchy to fight as
gladiators while the good American people spend their hard earned
dollars to watch us fight to the death?”

“I also said Bush, Clinton and other Vaticanites would be fighting too.
Before you say anything else, Ernie, let me interject that you all
deserve it, considering the millions upon millions that have died and
are dying today because of your hidden satanic agenda.”

“They all died for the love of God or by wicked dictators who persecuted
Jesuits as well,” said the priest, looking more frustrated and angry with every passing word coming out of he what considered to be the mouth of a no good heretic.

“They died because of the Jesuit Order’s conniving ways and satanic
blessings. You have been kicked out of more than 81 countries for
political intrigue, not religious persecution and I sincerely hope, you
are kicked out of the U.S. to make it 82!”

The Jesuit looked down at his watch, as if he had nothing more to say,
pulling out a letter from his inside coat pocket.

“Let me get right to the point, read this letter from the Fr. General.
We will give you one last chance to abide by it, or else.”

“Or else what?”

Giving Slats what he determined to be the “evil eye,” the Jesuit walked
out without saying another word while Slats began reading the letter,
containing the official seal of the Jesuit Order.

Dear Mr. Grobnik:

I hope this letter finds you in good health and with God shining down
upon you.

We have been watching you closely, as the good Fr. Lombardi has already
conveyed to you personally. As he has expressed, we are concerned you
have strayed away from God and we sincerely want to bring you back in
the fold.

In other words, we will give you one last chance to cease and desist
from publicly denouncing the Jesuit Order and the Vatican in any way
through written or spoken word.

If you comply by further stopping the Coliseum project and telling us
where the bugging devices you have placed are located by Feb. 11, 2008,
you will find a welcoming gift back to the fold of Christ in a Swiss
bank account in your name in the amount of 500,000 Euros which will be
worth far more than dollars.

Awaiting you sincere reply.

Yours in Christ,

Fr. Gen. Adolpho Nicolas

Putting the letter aside, Slats took a long swig of beer, thinking what
next, what next.